Understanding Gaslighting: The Most Common Form of Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse can be as damaging as physical abuse, though its scars are often invisible. Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation method used to cause victims to doubt their own reality and perception. It is one of the most damaging forms of emotional abuse. Gaslighting is a concept that has acquired recognition recently, yet abusers have been using it for decades to gently undermine their victims' mental stability and sense of self.

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Gaslighting can be particularly challenging to identify and address in India, where traditional beliefs frequently place a strong emphasis on family and relationships. Social standards may put pressure on victims to continue in unhealthy relationships, which emphasises the need to comprehend gaslighting, identify the warning signs, and know how to handle it successfully.

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Understanding Emotional Abuse and Gaslighting

Emotional Abuse: Behaviours intended to intimidate, control, or isolate a person are considered emotional abuse. Emotional abuse might go unreported by others, in contrast to physical violence, which leaves obvious scars. Constant criticism, threats, rejection, and manipulation are some ways that it shows up. The abuser aims to make the victim feel dependent and helpless by undermining their sense of self-worth.

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Gaslighting: Gaslighting is a particularly hazardous type of emotional abuse in which the abuser tricks the victim into doubting their own memories, ideas, and perceptions. The 1938 play "Gas Light" is where the phrase "gaslighting" first appeared. In it, the protagonist dims the gas-powered lights while denying that they are flickering in an attempt to convince the victim that they are going insane. Gaslighting aims to create doubt in the victim's mind, leaving them disoriented, uneasy, and reliant on the abuser. 

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It is not just limited to a romantic relationship but can happen in any form of relationship between two people- personal or professional. According to a study conducted by Shekhar and Tripathi (2024) on the impact of gaslighting , it was found that with an increase in the experiences of manipulation and controlling behaviour, there is also an increase in anxiety levels and decrease in self-esteem. 

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Gaslighting frequently begins subtly, with the abuser downplaying or denying minor occurrences or the victim's emotions. These deceptions worsen with time, making victims doubt their own perception of reality and judgement. According to Alkan et al. (2021), gas-lighting is a severe breach of trust that has a lasting effect on the victim's psychological health by eroding their self-worth, resilience, and confidence.

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Signs of Gaslighting

Recognizing gaslighting is crucial in protecting yourself or a loved one from its harmful effects. Here are some common signs of gaslighting:

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1. Constant Denial of Reality: Oftentimes, the abuser will argue about events, claiming the victim is hallucinating or misremembering them. In a qualitative study conducted it was found that gaslighting can result in a profound loss of trust in self (Hailes & Goodman, 2023). 

2. Trivialising Feelings: The victim feels that their feelings are unjustified when the abuser writes them off as unreasonable or too sensitive.

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3. Manipulating Evidence:In order to support their version of events, the abuser may conceal or modify evidence, such as emails or texts, leaving the victim perplexed and doubtful of their own recall.

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4. Shifting Blame: When anything goes wrong, the abuser frequently places the blame on the victim even when it is obviously not their fault. As a result, the victim develops a false narrative in which they are constantly at blame.

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5. Isolation: The victim may become more reliant on the abuser and be less inclined to ask for assistance or approval from others if the abuser isolates them from friends, family, or other support systems. Kemaloğlu (2021) discovered that addiction to the perpetrator was a predictor of emotional abuse. The findings provided credibility to the theory that addiction plays a role in the development and maintenance of gaslighting.

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6. Inconsistencies in Stories: The abuser's accounts frequently shift over time, but they continually uphold that they are being consistent, which makes the victim doubt their own sanity. 

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7. Undermining Confidence: The abuser frequently erodes the victim's self-esteem, making them question their aptitude for making decisions. A qualitative study revealed that trauma from gaslighting is linked to a diminished sense of self and mistrust of other people (Klein et al., 2023).

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Steps to Deal with Gaslighting 

Dealing with gaslighting requires a combination of self-awareness, external support, and professional guidance. Here are some effective steps to counter gaslighting:

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1. Recognize the Abuse:Recognizing that gaslighting is occurring is the first step in combating it. Keep an eye out for the indicators listed above, and if something in your relationship seems strange, follow your instincts.

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2. Document Everything: Document all discussions, events, and incidents. Putting things in writing gives you support for your experiences and helps in keeping a clear perspective. When the abuser tries to conceal or distort the facts, this evidence may prove to be extremely helpful.

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3. Seek Support: One important gaslighting technique is isolation. Make new connections with dependable family members, friends, or support networks that can validate your experiences and provide an unbiased viewpoint. Speaking with a trusted person about your predicament can make it easier for you to view things as they actually are.

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4. Set Boundaries:Establish hard boundaries and be clear about what conduct is unacceptable. Inform the abuser of these limits, and if they persist in crossing them, think about distancing yourself from the relationship.

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5. Engage in Self-care:Your emotional and mental health may suffer as a result of gaslighting. Take part in self-care activities that assist you in regaining your confidence and strength. Choose a hobby, a kind of exercise, or meditation that helps you get in touch with your inner self.

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6. Seek Professional Help: Gaslighting can have serious psychological repercussions, and in order to properly heal, expert advice is frequently required. Online therapy provides a practical and easily available means of getting assistance without the stigma that is frequently attached to getting mental health support in India.

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How Online Therapy Helps

Online therapy has become an essential tool in combating gaslighting and emotional abuse, particularly in a country like India, where mental health issues are often stigmatised. Here’s how online therapy can help:

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Anonymity and Privacy:Victims can access online therapy without worrying about being judged or exposed. This is particularly crucial in India, where cultural norms frequently deter people from getting mental health treatment.

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Accessibility: Online therapy provides access to licensed counsellors and therapists who can assist you in navigating the difficulties of emotional abuse and gaslighting, regardless of where you live—in a busy metropolis or a small, rural town.

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Convenience: As online therapy is so flexible, it's simpler to integrate treatment into your schedule and daily life because you can receive support from the comforts of your home.

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Tailored Support:Platforms for online therapy such as Rocket Health India provide individualised care that considers the specific cultural and socioeconomic characteristics of India. Effectiveness and appropriateness of the therapy you receive is guaranteed by this individualised approach.

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Why Rocket Health India Can Help

Rocket Health India stands out as a leading platform for online therapy in India, offering specialised services for those experiencing emotional abuse and gaslighting. Here’s why Rocket Health India is the right choice:

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Experienced Therapists: Rocket Health India organises for you to meet with certified and skilled therapists who are aware of the subtleties of emotional abuse and gaslighting, guaranteeing that you get professional advice.

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Culturally Sensitive Care:Rocket Health India addresses the particular difficulties faced by Indian victims of gaslighting by acknowledging the cultural context of India and offering therapy that is appropriate and sensitive to cultural differences.

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Holistic Approach:The all-encompassing mental health approach of Rocket Health India guarantees that you receive thorough care that addresses the psychological and emotional effects of abuse.

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Supportive Community: In addition to counselling, Rocket Health India provides you with resources and support groups to help you become resilient and take back control of your life.

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Conclusion

A very harmful kind of emotional abuse, gaslighting can leave victims with lifelong wounds. Overcoming this manipulation requires recognizing the warning signals, getting help, and participating in online therapy. Online therapy platforms like Rocket Health India provide a lifeline to victims of gaslighting in India, where cultural conventions can sometimes prevent them from getting help. They offer professional, culturally sensitive support that can help victims reclaim their lives.

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Do not be reluctant to seek assistance if you believe that you or someone you know is being gaslighted. Recall that your feelings and facts are real, and that you can recover your confidence and sense of worth by overcoming the effects of gaslighting with the correct help.

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References

Alkan, Ö., Özar, Ş., & Ünver, Ş. (2021). Economic violence against women: A case in Turkey. PLoS ONE, 16(3), e0248630. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0248630 

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Hailes, H. P., & Goodman, L. A. (2023). “They’re out to take away your sanity”: A qualitative investigation of gaslighting in intimate partner violence. Journal of Family Violence. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10896-023-00652-1 

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Klein, W., Li, S., & Wood, S. (2023). A qualitative analysis of gaslighting in romantic relationships. Personal Relationships, 30(4), 1316–1340. https://doi.org/10.1111/pere.12510 

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Shekhar, S. & Tripathi, K.M. (2024). Impact of Gaslighting on Mental Health among   Young Adults. International Journal of Indian Psychology, 12(2), 3941-3950. DIP:18.01.350.20241202, DOI:10.25215/1202.350