Tips for Building a Healthy Relationship

"Humans are social animals by nature. Those who are either unable to lead a common life or are so self-sufficient that they do not require it and do not participate in society are either beasts or gods." – Aristotle

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The assertion made by Aristotle for a long time is not new to society. Our relationships are the foundation of a happy and fulfilling existence because, as social creatures, we are designed to connect. As essential as our needs for food, drink, and shelter is our urge to connect. 

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According to research, having healthy relationships can improve young people's well-being, while having none over time is linked to loneliness and lower levels of satisfaction. On the other hand, "low-quality" relationships—those characterised by increased conflict, a diminished sense of control, and a lack of "authenticity"—seem to have a detrimental effect, especially on depressive symptoms in teenage girls.

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It is recommended that youth acquire the knowledge and skills to identify the positive qualities and traits of good one-on-one intimate relationships, such as consent, mutual respect, loyalty, trust, shared interests and perspectives, friendship, and sex.

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Quality of a Relationship

Relationships provide support to individuals in adjusting the challenges faced in daily lives. The quality of a relationship can predict an individual’s health in adulthood. Positive relationship qualities have been linked to positive overall physical and mental health.

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Earlier studies defined healthy relationships based on qualities such as trust, satisfaction, love, intimacy, commitment, social support, boundaries, effective communication abilities, feeling of belongingness, respect, an understanding of differences, an emphasis on strengths, and a link to community resources and social support.

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Unhealthy relationships characteristics, such as intimate partner violence, other forms of abuse, infidelity, dishonesty, lack of social support, loneliness, isolation, and impaired boundaries - have been linked to higher levels of mental and physical health issues, such as depression, anxiety, and suicide, lower levels of relationship satisfaction, and impaired academic performance and feelings of safety for adolescents while in school.

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It is complicated to define healthy partnerships for at least three reasons – (1) Different cultures and circumstances define healthy relationships in different ways, (2) There are a wide variety of relationships that occur within communities, including those between spouses, families, parents and children, siblings, employers and employees, coworkers, friends, and neighbours, and (3) Healthy families and relationships nowadays frequently characterise healthy relationships narrowly, such as by defining them as safer than the dynamics of abusive family connections.

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Every relationship has its own ups and downs, every relationship witnesses arguments and each other’s support. Here are a few tips to nourish the relationship in healthy ways: 

Trust

Trust is a crucial element in any healthy relationship, whether it's a romantic relationship, friendship, or even a professional relationship. It forms the foundation upon which relationships are built and allows individuals to feel secure, understood, and valued. Trust is to believe in the other individual’s honesty, dependability, and intentions. It entails having faith in their ability to be truthful with you, honour their word, and behave in your best interests.

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Relationship tension brought on by a lack of trust can result in feelings of uneasiness, envy, and anger. In a relationship, developing trust requires time and work. It necessitates constant behaviour, honest and open communication, and a readiness to show vulnerability to one another. Setting limits and showing respect for one another's needs and feelings are also crucial.

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In a relationship, trust can be restored if it has been damaged, but it will require time and effort on both sides. It frequently entails admitting the betrayal, figuring out what the underlying problems are, and cooperating to restore confidence via deeds that show integrity, dependability, and respect.

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In general, building trust is essential to happy partnerships, and doing so can result in closer ties, more intimacy, and overall relationship pleasure.

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Respecting Boundaries

In any relationship, respecting boundaries is essential for fostering mutual respect, trust, and a feeling of security and comfort. It's critical to establish boundaries that are reasonable, understandable, and considerate of both you and other people. Establishing and upholding limits is a sign of respect and self-care. Recognise your personal boundaries and the factors that led to them. This self-awareness can facilitate more effective communication of your limits and make it simpler for you to respect those of others.

The following are some essential components:
(1) Communication: Setting and upholding limits require open and honest communication. It's critical to listen to, respect, and express your own boundaries as well as those of others.

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(2) Consent: The idea of consent is directly related to the respect for boundaries. Prior to having any kind of emotional or physical contact, always get consent. If someone declines to provide consent, respect their choice.

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(3) Understanding: Invest some time in learning about and developing empathy for the motivations behind someone else's boundaries. Everybody has unique comfort zones and boundaries, and it's critical to recognise and value these distinctions.
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(4) Flexibility: Based on unique situations and experiences, boundaries are subject to shift throughout time. It's critical to maintain the other person's autonomy while remaining adaptable and willing to renegotiate boundaries as necessary.
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(5) Respecting digital limits: It's critical to observe boundaries in online interactions in the modern digital era. This entails being aware of the consequences of your words and deeds online, honouring privacy settings, and abstaining from disclosing personal information without consent.

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Communication

Relationship satisfaction has been found to be largely dependent on communication. More recently, research has connected satisfaction to sharing victories and constructive responses to conflicts. Research indicates that wholesome interactions can promote beneficial social links in communities in addition to acting as a buffer between stress and mental and physical health. On the other hand, it is generally acknowledged that loneliness and isolation pose a risk for a variety of issues, such as substance abuse, suicide, interpersonal violence, and physical health issues.

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Effective communication requires that both parties be forthright and honest with one another. It fosters intimacy and a sense of trust that makes it easy for both partners to express their thoughts and feelings. Focusing entirely on what the other person is saying without thinking about your own response or interjecting during their speech, facilitates the conversation by displaying understanding and respect.

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To prevent misconceptions, communication should be straightforward and unambiguous. Couples argue occasionally, which is normal, but it's crucial to resolve them amicably. Stay away from insults and concentrate on the current problem. When expressing your ideas and emotions, use "I" statements and be clear about what you want to get across.
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In a conversation, nonverbal indicators like body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions can reveal a lot of information. You might gain a better understanding of your partner's intentions and sentiments by keeping an eye out for these signs.

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Support system

In our life, relationships—especially deep and meaningful ones—can be an invaluable source of support. These relationships, whether with a spouse, parent, friend, or even coworker, can offer emotional, useful, and occasionally financial assistance during trying times. Support can be offered in following ways:

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(1) Emotional Support: Offering emotional support is one of a relationship's main purposes. This entails paying attention, showing compassion, and providing consolation when someone is under stress, depressed, or uncertain. Feelings of isolation and loneliness might be lessened by realising that there is someone out there who loves and supports you.

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 (2) Practical Support: Relationships can also provide practical support in the form of assistance with everyday duties, errand running, and transportation. This type of assistance can be particularly helpful when dealing with illness, accident, or other problems that make it hard to handle daily obligations.

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 (3) Financial Support: Partnerships may occasionally offer financial support as well. This could be giving out loans, assisting with job searches, or providing housing during hard times. After a setback, this kind of assistance can be quite helpful in getting someone back on their feet.

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 (4) Encouragement and Motivation: You can get both of these things from healthy relationships, which will aid in your goal-achieving. Having someone on your side may make a great difference whether it comes to changing your lifestyle for the better, following a new job route, or taking up a new pastime.

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 (5) Resolution of Conflicts: Although disagreements arise naturally in all relationships, happy partnerships offer a forum for amicable dispute resolution. Relationships can be strengthened and made more durable by learning how to compromise, listen intently, and communicate effectively.

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Responsiveness

Relationship quality is based on perceptions of responsiveness, or the sense that the individual recognises, respects, and encourages significant facets of the individual. Individuals who feel close, content, and dedicated to their relationships can experience responsiveness. Responsiveness is observing and responding to the emotions of others, whereas support entails offering aid, support, and knowledge without necessarily attending to the emotional and psychological needs of others.

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Respondent individuals communicate empathy, affirmation, and concern; helping the other individual to feel comfortable, respected, listened to, and understood. They are warm and perceptive to their sentiments. In relationships, responsiveness and its projection and reciprocation can be initiated or inhibited by people's interpersonal goals (to either support others or construct and maintain desired images of the self). This predicts relationship quality and reinforces interpersonal goals for both relationship partners.

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Companionship

Good relationships are a source of companionship, which includes good, normal features of relationships with other people that aren't explicitly related to a particular occasion or objective. Spending quality time with one another could provide a break from small problems. 

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Good relationships provide support during difficult times in addition to assisting people in achieving significant objectives and improving themselves. In these situations, enduring relationships can protect people from the damaging impacts of stress. Stressors can impede good ageing by causing physical and psychological harm, but responsive social support from close friends and family might lessen these effects.

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Enriching Each Other

The "ideal self," or the person one wishes to become, is particularly valued by relationship partners. People continue to have ideal selves into later adulthood, and ideal self-views are a major motivator of behaviours that promote healthy ageing. High-quality relationships elicit behaviours that are consistent with people's self-views through the process of affirmation. 

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For example, Lata  might offer support to Anush, if he hopes to believe that he is “young at heart”, so that Anush acts in ways that are consistent with his perception of himself. Lata could achieve this through doing activities that she can do together with Anush, like signing up for a new fitness class, affirming his perception of himself, etc.

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Conclusion

Relationships that are safe are free from any types of abuse, neglect, and other risks to the physical or mental health, development, or safety of one or more parties. The fundamental elements of good relationships are respect, trust, safety, acceptance, freedom of choice, constructive communication and conflict resolution, and enjoyment, even though each person's perception of what constitutes a healthy relationship may differ.

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Healthy partnerships do not require perfection: Even well-functioning couples face difficulties and disagreements. These difficulties become opportunities for development and learning in wholesome relationships.

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Happy relationships are not only joyful but also safe and healthy. People who are in happy relationships have access to a supportive and caring community. Happy couples value their time together, prioritise one another, and have a profound knowledge of one another. Online therapy offers a convenient and accessible option for individuals seeking treatment for relationship issues. It allows individuals to receive therapy from the comfort of their own homes, eliminating barriers such as travel time and scheduling conflicts. 

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Rocket Health India offers comprehensive online therapy services tailored to individuals in India. Their team of experienced therapists can provide personalised treatment plans to help individuals address relationship issues and improve their overall well-being. Ready to improve your relationship health? Contact Rocket Health India today to schedule a consultation with one of our experienced therapists.

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References

Canevello A, Crocker J. Creating good relationships: responsiveness, relationship quality, and interpersonal goals. J Pers Soc Psychol. 2010 Jul;99(1):78-106. doi: 10.1037/a0018186. PMID: 20565187; PMCID: PMC2891543. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2891543/

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Murray, C. E., Ross, R., & Cannon, J. (2021). The Happy, Healthy, Safe Relationships Continuum: Conceptualizing a Spectrum of Relationship Quality to Guide Community-Based Healthy Relationship Promotion Programming. The Family Journal, 29(1), 50-59. https://doi.org/10.1177/1066480720960416 

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Zee KS, Weiss D. High-quality relationships strengthen the benefits of a younger subjective age across adulthood. Psychol Aging. 2019 May;34(3):374-388. doi: 10.1037/pag0000349. PMID: 31070401; PMCID: PMC6690194. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6690194/