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The process of self-discovery frequently forces us to confront two versions of ourselves: the ideal self, or the one we hope to become, and the real self, or who we are now. Although it is normal to want to get better, the discrepancy between these versions can occasionally cause dissatisfaction and self-criticism. If ignored, this internal conflict—which is common in fast-paced cultures like India—can have adverse effects on our mental health.
The key to successfully traversing this road is self-compassion. It inspires us to accept our flaws and give credit to our efforts without passing judgment. As Carl Rogers said “the curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change” thus only when you accept your real self, you can move towards your ideal self. The ideas of the real and ideal selves will be examined in this blog, along with practical methods for cultivating self-compassion that will enable you to embrace your current self and connect with your ideal self.
Understanding the Real Self vs. Ideal Self
Your real self is the culmination of your current thoughts, feelings, actions, and experiences; it is your authentic being. It encompasses your distinctive features, values, and areas of strength and weakness. Since it is the basis of who you are, it is essential that you accept this version of yourself.
Conversely, the ideal self is a vision of the person you wish to be. Personal objectives, cultural factors, and society expectations all impact this vision. The pressure to be an ideal self can be unbearable in India, where society's expectations for performance, prosperity, and attractiveness are frequently very high. For example, the custom of arranged marriages frequently places strict demands on people to adhere to particular norms of behavior, social standing, and appearance. Similarly, the constant pressure to perform academically is fueled by society's emphasis on prominent professions like engineering or medical.
Feelings of inadequacy might result from the conflict between the ideal and real selves. People may experience self-discrepancy which is the gap between the real self and the ideal self. Self-discrepancy theory states that a person will experience more discomfort the more self-discrepancy they have (Higgins, 1989).
For instance, a young professional in India may be caught between wanting to acquire a home in a major city like Bengaluru or Mumbai and their current financial circumstances. Recognizing this difference means learning to traverse it with self-compassion rather than suppressing ambition.
Why Self-Compassion Matters
The stress and self-doubt that frequently accompany the discrepancy between the real and ideal selves can be effectively countered by practicing self-compassion. By being kind to ourselves, we establish a constructive internal dialogue that builds resilience and promotes personal development. Self-compassion inspires us to seek significant change while urging us to accept our current circumstances, in contrast to self-criticism, which may impede progress. Cultivating self-compassion enables people to face obstacles with clarity and confidence, which makes the path to self-improvement more gratifying and lasting, especially in the high-pressure environment of India.
Strategies for Cultivating Self-Compassion in the Real vs. Ideal Self Journey
1. Acknowledge and Reframe Criticism of Oneself
Self-criticism frequently results from comparing one's ideal and real selves. Constant negativity can be detrimental. Self-criticism, which includes severe self-blaming and self-attack with outright rage, disgust, or even hatred, usually happens when people detect failures in significant life situations or in challenging circumstances (Peter & Gazelle, 2017). Recognize when self-criticism arises first. Affirmations that recognize your efforts should take the place of critical ideas. If you're feeling behind in your job, for example, remind yourself that "I am doing my best under the circumstances I face."
2. Engage in Mindfulness
Being mindful teaches us to pay attention to the here and now without passing judgment. Research has shown that mindfulness based programs can increase self-compassion (Golden et al., 2020). You can reduce the intensity of your negative self-talk by paying attention to your thoughts and feelings as they come up. Think about making mindfulness exercises like yoga, journaling, or meditation a regular part of your day.
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3. Establish Realistic Objectives
Divide your goals into attainable benchmarks. This method lessens the pressure to achieve perfection and lets you enjoy little victories. According to a study, you are more likely to succeed if your objectives are reasonable and in line with your expected abilities. It gets more difficult to accomplish them if they are overly ambitious or unrealistic in relation to your circumstances or capabilities (Avishai et al., 2019). For instance, instead of hoping for a dramatic transformation overnight, start with a 15-minute daily workout if your ideal self is physically fit.
4. Accept Who You Really Are
Even if your characteristics don't really fit with what society expects of you, celebrate what makes you special. Social influences in India have the power to determine everything, including marital status and professional choices. These pressures have only increased since social media's growth.
Idealized ideals of success, beauty, and lifestyle are frequently exaggerated on platforms, leading to a never-ending cycle of self-doubt and comparison. It is critical to remember that fulfilling expectations from others does not define your value. A true act of self-worth is embracing your uniqueness in the face of these forces.
5. Reach out to Online Therapy For Support
Without assistance, navigating the complexity of self-acceptance can be difficult sometimes. Online therapy provides a secure environment for examining these emotions, comprehending underlying triggers, and creating more effective coping strategies. By connecting you with qualified therapists who are aware of cultural nuances, platforms such as Rocket Health India enhance the relevance and individualization of the support process.
6. Establish a Practice of Gratitude
Concentrating on your blessings promotes optimism and lessens emotions of inadequacy. Keep a gratitude diary in which you record three things every day for which you are grateful. These moments, whether they involve family support, a filling dinner, or personal accomplishments, help you stay grounded in the here and now. According to Hemarajarajeswari and Gupta (2021), happiness, psychological wellbeing, and gratitude are positively correlated.
7. Learn From Setbacks
A necessary component of growth is failure. Consider setbacks as teaching moments rather than as personal shortcomings. Failure may seem more severe in India's competitive setting because of social scrutiny, but keep in mind that conquering hardship builds resilience.
8. Surround Yourself with positive environment
Your mentality is greatly influenced by your surroundings. Look for communities, mentors, or friends who support compassion and self-improvement. A sense of community can be gained by joining online or local groups devoted to mental health.
Why Online Therapy Can Be a Game-Changer
Online therapy, which provides convenience and confidentiality, is revolutionizing mental health care in India. It's now simpler to get in touch with licensed therapists from the comfort of your home thanks to improved internet accessibility. The path to self-compassion can be facilitated by a qualified therapist who can assist you in recognizing and disputing negative thought patterns.
How Rocket Health India Supports Your Mental Wellness Journey
Rocket Health India is notable for its dedication to provide efficient and easily accessible mental health care. They serve a wide range of clients, so every session is customized to meet your unique needs. The therapists are prepared to handle the particular difficulties that people in India encounter, like striking a balance between personal goals and societal expectations. Professionals with hectic schedules benefit from flexible online sessions that save time and effort. The platform provides access to knowledgeable and empathetic professionals.
With self-compassion as your guide, investing in your mental health with Rocket Health India can enable you to close the gap between your ideal and real selves.
Conclusion
The transition between your ideal and real selves is a very personal yet universal experience. In addition to relieving emotional stress, developing self-compassion also enables you to develop in balance with yourself. Techniques like practicing mindfulness, being grateful, and getting help from a professional can change this path into one of acceptance and empowerment.
Platforms like Rocket Health India provide the resources and direction you require to succeed. Remind yourself that self-compassion is about treating yourself with the respect and kindness you deserve, not about compromising your standards. You create the path to a more satisfying life when you accept your flaws and goals.
Today, take the first step—loving your true self is the first step toward becoming your ideal self.
References
Avishai, A., Conner, M., & Sheeran, P. (2019). Setting realistic health goals: antecedents and consequences. Annals of Behavioral Medicine, 53(12), 1020–1031. https://doi.org/10.1093/abm/kaz012
Golden, H. L., Vosper, J., Kingston, J., & Ellett, L. (2020). The Impact of Mindfulness-Based Programmes on Self-Compassion in Nonclinical Populations: a Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis. Mindfulness, 12(1), 29–52. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-020-01501-8
Hemarajarajeswari, J., & Gupta, P. K. (2021). Gratitude, psychological well-being and happiness among college students: a correlational study. International Journal of Indian Psychology, 9(1). https://doi.org/10.25215/0901.053
Higgins, E. T. (1989). Self-Discrepancy Theory: What patterns of Self-Beliefs cause people to suffer? In Advances in experimental social psychology (pp. 93–136). https://doi.org/10.1016/s0065-2601(08)60306-8
Peter, D., & Gazelle, H. (2017). Anxious Solitude and Self‐Compassion and Self‐Criticism Trajectories in Early Adolescence: Attachment Security as a moderator. Child Development, 88(6), 1834–1848. https://doi.org/10.1111/cdev.12926
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