Talking to Teens about Sex and Sexual Harassment in India: A Comprehensive Guide

In the adolescence, the individual experiences cognitive development – trying to develop hypothesis and solve problems, socio-emotional development – explore self-identity and purpose in life, physical development – increase in penis size, ejaculation in men, enlarged breasts in women, increase in testosterone in men and oestrogen in women.

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The teens explore about sex and sexuality in adolescence, but it gets confusing and misinformed due to wrong and inappropriate sources like media, reading through books and magazines, discussing with peers, through hearing sexual lyrics and watching porn. This also leads to inappropriate understanding of sex, sexual identities and rise in sexual harassment.

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In this article, discover how to have meaningful discussions with teenagers about sex and sexual harassment by providing them with thorough information that is relevant to India, including common types, treatment steps, and resources. It's crucial for kids' safety and wellbeing to have conversations with them about sex and sexual harassment. It is imperative to approach these conversations with compassion and transparency in India, given the country's sometimes complex cultural traditions and societal attitudes towards these matters.

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Sex!!!

The word sex connotes different aspects – sexual identities, genitals and intercourse. It is a broad and complex concept. The individual’s attitude towards their ‘self’ and their ‘body’ influences their sexuality and that also influences one's self-esteem. But because of misinformation and misinterpretation of the term sex as having an intercourse, it is also equated to love.

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In order to have meaningful conversations, it is essential to comprehend the complexity of sex and sexual harassment. Discuss issues including consent, wholesome relationships, limits, gender roles and, the Indian legal system's approach to sexual harassment. It is important to give teenagers accurate, age-appropriate information to assist them in deciding what to do and avoiding possible hazards.

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It's critical for parents and teenagers to communicate. Even though your teen doesn't hold the same views as you do, you should still have conversations with them about sexuality and sex. Your discussions about sex during adolescence should centre more on your values and the social and emotional components of sex. Even if you believe your principles are archaic, respond to your adolescent's inquiries with honesty and integrity. If you firmly believe that having sex before getting married is wrong, tell your teen about it and give an explanation for your beliefs. Your teen is more likely to comprehend and accept your principles if you take the time to explain why you hold the opinions that you do.

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Concerns faced by the Teens

Peer Pressure - Peer pressure to have sex is very strong for teenagers. They could feel excluded if they're not ready for sex.

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STIs - Teens must understand that engaging in sexual activity puts them at risk for STIs. Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) encompass chlamydia, gonorrhoea, human papillomavirus (HPV), herpes, HIV, and trichomonas. HPV is mostly to blame for cervical cancer.

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Monogamy - Many teenagers have heard that monogamy is ‘safe sex’, but they don't realise that having one relationship at first, then switching to have another partner and switching would then not be monogamous.

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Date rape - Teens who are involved in date rape face a major threat. It takes place when someone your adolescent knows - like a friend, neighbour, or date - pushes her or him to engage in sexual activity. The adolescent should know that a ‘no always means no’.

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Sexuality - Although many parents find it challenging to discuss, your adolescent most likely has a lot of inquiries regarding heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality. An adult's sexual identity may not be fully formed until then. Parents’ support and affection are crucial if the adolescent is gay, lesbian, or bisexual.

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Masturbation - Few individuals feel comfortable discussing masturbation. This is a normal and healthy aspect of human sexuality, and it is nothing to be ashamed of. This discussion is important to happen to prevent the teen from having unhealthy and harmful ways of masturbating.

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Sexual Harassment

The United Nations (UN) defines sexual harassment as any sexual act, including seduction or flattery, requests for sexual help, and both verbal and physical sexual behavior that the victim does not want. It divides sexual harassment in following three forms:-

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1. Verbal Sexual Harassment -

Verbal abuse can take the following forms: (a) calling someone a "girl," "honey," or "babe" (b) smacking lips, howling, whistling, and making kissing noises (c) discussing another person's body in a sexually suggestive manner; (d) inquiring about others' sexual fantasies and experiences; (e) sharing sexual jokes or anecdotes; and (f) making advances towards others.

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2. Non- verbal Sexual Harassment –

Nonverbal forms of harassment include: (a) staring at someone from head to toe; (b) trailing behind; (c) displaying gestures or engaging in sexual acts; (d) making sexual gestures with the hands or body; (e) obstructing someone's path; and (f) making sexual gestures with the hands or through body movement.‍

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3. Physical Sexual Harassment -

Touching another person's body, hugging, kissing, stroking, patting another person's body, touching or rubbing oneself sexually around another person, and standing close to or touching someone while glancing at another person are all considered physical forms of sexual harassment.

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Effects of Sexual Harassment on Teens-

1.     Distractions from studies and work – decline in academic performance

2.     Missing school and school drop

3.     Victim becoming perpetrator of sexual harassment

4.     Unpleasant emotions – anger, betrayal, anxiety, depression

5.     Lack of confidence and poor self-esteem

6.     Psycho-somatic symptoms (headaches, stomach pains, etc.)

7.     Self-harm, Suicidal Ideations and Attempts to Suicide

8.     Substance Abuse and Addiction

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Approaching Teens to have a Conversation!

Listen –

Give your adolescent space to speak and inquire. It's critical that you focus entirely on this. Have active participation and give the teen the space and comfort to talk openly and freely. Do not ignore what the teen is trying to say, do not shun them or refrain them from speaking. The place and tone of voice should be safe, understanding and comforting; letting the teen know that there is someone for them to discuss about the issues faced around sex and sexual harassment.

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Prepare Yourself –

Before speaking with your teen, educate yourself on the topic so that your own questions are addressed. With your partner, spouse, friend, or another parent, rehearse the words you intend to say. When the time comes, this can make it simpler to have a conversation with your teen. Talk clearly and calmly.

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Be Honest –

Inform your adolescent that although you find it difficult to discuss sex, you believe it's crucial that information about sex come from you. Furthermore, despite the fact that you would like your ideals to be respected; in the end, your teen makes the decisions regarding sex. Be at ease, your teen has been heard, even if they argue or become irate. Even if your teen's values diverge from your own, these conversations will still help them build a strong moral foundation.

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Ask for Help –

Seek professional help from a psychologist/ counsellor/ therapist/ individuals volunteering for the awareness of sex education if you are unable to have a conversation with your adolescent about sex. Many parents also find it helpful to provide their teenagers with a book about human sexuality and offer a conversation starter.

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Awareness Camps –

Encourage other adults in your youth organization to support awareness campaigns and intervention techniques, particularly for the early high school years when sexual harassment has been connected to unfavorable results several years later. The school or society can conduct these awareness sessions for the teens and their parents.

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It is important for the teen to understand that if anything happens, it is not their fault! “Without your permission, no one has the right to touch you, make fun of you, or engage in sexual activity. It is also sexual violence and against the law to be pressured or seduced into having sex by instructors, professors, or hostel wardens. Likewise, it is illegal and reportable to the authorities if a close friend or relative forces you into performing a sexual act”.

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Sexual assault persists and causes grief and injury because we do not discuss it, particularly when it occurs in the home. This can occasionally be done by any of the family members, like brother, sisters, uncle, aunt, in-laws; and this can be done to anyone, irrespective of the gender and sex.

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Conclusion

Through promoting transparent communication, sharing precise information, and facilitating access to suitable assistance, we can enable teenagers to skillfully and resiliently negotiate the intricacies of sexual harassment and adult relationships. Together, let's make our youth's surroundings safer and more knowledgeable. If a teenager asks questions that you believe are "not apt for their age," never put them in a position of humiliation.

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The adult’s choices and actions, their values and belief-systems, stems from their version of the teen’s early perceptions of the world. Instead of being concerned about their twisted definitions, it is crucial to provide positive responses to each of their inquiries. Above all, reassure them that you are the only person they can trust with their safety.

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Online therapy offers convenience, accessibility, and privacy, making it an ideal option for teens who may feel uncomfortable seeking traditional therapy or face-to-face counselling. With online platforms, teens can access professional support from the comfort of their homes, at their own pace, and without the stigma often associated with mental health issues.

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Rocket Health India provides a range of mental health services tailored to the needs of individuals in India. Rocket Health India offers a supportive environment for teens to address their concerns about sex and sexual harassment. Start the conversation today. Together, we can promote healthy relationships and prevent sexual harassment in our communities.

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References

Kamala Bhasin. (n.d.). Conversations with adolescents understanding adolescents and sexuality. UNFPA. Retrieved from https://prachicp.com/tarunya/assets/conversations-with-adolescents---book-2-english.pdf

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Mallista, Kezia & Soetikno, Naomi & Risnawaty, Widya. (2020). Sexual Harassment in Adolescent. 10.2991/assehr.k.201209.084. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/347844544_Sexual_Harassment_in_Adolescent

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Protsahan India Foundation. (2018). How to talk to adolescents about sex & sexuality. The Indian Express. Retrieved from https://protsahan.co.in/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/IE3.pdf