Being a part of a loved one's grieving process may be both difficult and incredibly valuable. A common emotional reaction to loss is grief. Giving your loved one the right kind of support can have a significant impact on their healing process. However, handling such delicate circumstances calls for understanding and empathy.
Grief can have particular cultural characteristics in India, where social relationships and family ties are essential. It's crucial to learn how to care for a mourning person with compassion while honouring their unique emotional needs. This blog will help you understand grief and how to support a loved one as they heal.
Understanding Grief
Grief frequently includes emotions like sadness, rage, perplexity, and sometimes relief. Grief isn't just about the death of a loved one; it can come from job loss, divorce, miscarriage, or even a pet. Cultural practices, customs, and rituals often shape how people experience and cope with grief. These activities may include community sorrow and designated times for mourning.
Grief is a long-term journey. It changes throughout time and varies from individual to individual. In her model, Swiss-American psychiatrist Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross distinguished five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It’s important to remember that grief is a non-linear process, meaning people can move back and forth between stages, revisit certain stages, or experience them in a different order altogether.
Grief manifests itself differently in each person, and it is important to recognize that there is no "right" or "wrong" way to grieve. Personality, life experiences, beliefs, type of loss and the type of grief can shape the process.
Steps to Support a Loved One Who is Grieving
Supporting someone who is grieving is more about listening and being present than offering advice. Your compassion and presence can make a significant difference. Below are steps that can guide you in helping a grieving loved one.
Listen Without Judgement
The act of simply listening to someone who is grieving without passing judgement is one of the most beneficial ways to support them. Friends and family should allow their loved one to express their emotions - no matter how complex, conflicting, or repetitive they are. Unless they specifically want it, don't try to "fix" their sorrow. Simply being there and paying attention brings great comfort during such a difficult time.
Acknowledge and Validate their Emotions
Acknowledging a person's loss and validating their emotions is a crucial first step in supporting them during their mourning process. After experiencing a traumatic loss, people most want emotional support. Clichés that convey dismissal, such as "It was meant to be" or "They're in a better place," should be avoided.
Rather, express your heartfelt sympathies by saying something like "I'm here for you" or "I'm so sorry for your loss." Remind them that it's acceptable to feel overwhelmed and that their grief is valid. Grief stirs many emotions, and we should acknowledge them all.
Respect their Process
There is no time limit for healing from grief because it is a highly personal process. Your loved one could have ups and downs, as well as seemingly erratic emotions. Respecting their process is crucial, regardless of whether they would rather remain silent or speak about the person they lost. Do not hurry them through the process or attempt to "fix" their emotions.
Offer Help with Daily Tasks
One of the more meaningful ways to support a loved one is to offer practical support, as grief can make even seemingly routine daily duties feel burdensome. Assist with routine tasks like grocery shopping, food preparation, and housework. You can ease their burden by offering specific assistance, such as "I'll bring you dinner tomorrow" or "Can I help with your shopping?"
Honor Cultural and Religious Practices
Indian cultural and religious practices are intricately linked to grief and loss, offering consolation and a feeling of resolution to individuals experiencing these emotions. Customs like lighting a diya (lamp) in memory of the departed, saying certain prayers, or keeping a fast can have deep spiritual significance and play a vital role in the healing process.
Stay Connected and Check-in Regularly
In the weeks and months after a loved one's death, it's critical to spend time with them. You may let them know that you are available to help them and that you care with a quick phone call, message, or visit. Since important milestones like birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays can exacerbate feelings of loss, it's crucial to stay in regular contact.
Respect their Space
Honour the desire for privacy; those grieving may require time alone to go through their emotions. For someone who is grieving, simply being present during this time can be incredibly consoling.
When you provide your loved one with unwavering support, you reassure them that you are there for them no matter what, even if they are unable to return the favor or express gratitude. To create a healing space that strikes a balance between presence and space, let them know they can always rely on you.
Encourage Self-Care
Grief can lead to neglecting one's own well-being. Encourage your loved one to practice simple self-care, like taking a walk, eating well, building a social network or getting enough sleep. Provide these recommendations with gentleness, emphasizing that self-care is necessary for their mental health condition.
Additionally, you could recommend soothing pursuits like reading, gardening, or mindfulness exercises. It's critical to accommodate these in their daily life.
Encourage Professional Support
Sometimes, grief can feel overwhelming or last too long, leading to issues like anxiety or depression and other harmful physical symptoms. Encourage your loved one to get professional help if they appear to be having trouble coping. Even with growing awareness of mental health issues in India, seeking support in therapy can still carry a stigma. Promote solutions such as private, easily accessible online therapy.
Online therapy platforms connect you with licensed mental health professionals, removing the need to travel during tough emotional times. This discreet and convenient approach helps individuals navigate their grief in a safe, private environment, free from the stigma that may still surround seeking mental health support.
Conclusion
Supporting a grieving loved one with consistency and compassion can have a significant impact on their healing process. Your support can give them the courage and solace they need to get through their loss and move on in their own time, whether it takes the form of practical guidance or just hearing them out.
Additionally, directing your loved one toward expert assistance can provide them with more resources to help them manage their feelings and create coping mechanisms.
If you or someone you know is currently grieving, consider reaching out to Rocket Health for professional guidance. Rocket Health India is dedicated to providing accessible, affordable, and high-quality mental health services. Whether you're based in a major city or a rural area, Rocket Health's online therapy platform connects you with experienced professionals and helps you navigate through this phase.
References
Aoun, S. M., Breen, L. J., White, I., Rumbold, B., & Kellehear, A. (2018). What sources of bereavement support are perceived helpful by bereaved people and why? Empirical evidence for the compassionate communities approach. Palliative medicine, 32(8), 1378-1388.
Nordal, K.C. (2020). Grief: Coping with the loss of your loved one. American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/topics/families/grief
Shear, M. K. (2012). Grief and mourning gone awry: pathway and course of complicated grief. Dialogues in clinical neuroscience, 14(2), 119-128.