Last updated:

February 23, 2025

4

min read

How to Identify Covert Narcissism in Yourself or Others

Learn how to identify covert narcissism in yourself or others with this detailed guide. Understand its types, symptoms, and effective treatment options, including the role of online therapy and Rocket Health India.>

Reviewed by
Sneha Toppo
Written by
Kanika Joshi
TABLE OF CONTENTS

When you hear the word "narcissism," you might think of someone who is loud, overly confident, or constantly seeking attention. However, narcissism isn’t always obvious. Covert narcissism, also known as vulnerable narcissism, is a more subtle form of the disorder. It often hides behind a mask of humility, insecurity, or shyness, making it harder to detect. It has been found to be characterised by a lack of confidence, hypersensitivity to criticism and being socially withdrawn (Wink, 1991).

Understanding covert narcissism is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and improving mental well-being. Whether you suspect it in yourself or others, knowing the signs and addressing them can lead to more fulfilling interactions and personal growth. This guide will help you recognize covert narcissism, its types, and steps to treat it effectively.

What is Covert Narcissism?

Covert narcissism is a subtype of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) characterized by hidden feelings of superiority and entitlement. Unlike overt narcissists who are outwardly grandiose and attention-seeking, covert narcissists often appear introverted, sensitive, and self-effacing. This subtlety can make it challenging to identify.

People with covert narcissism may have an underlying sense of inadequacy but crave admiration and validation. They might express their narcissistic tendencies in passive-aggressive ways, such as playing the victim, being overly critical, or using guilt to manipulate others. This behavior stems from deep-seated insecurities and an intense fear of rejection or failure.

In India, cultural and societal norms can sometimes obscure the signs of covert narcissism. The emphasis on humility, respect for elders, and close-knit family structures can provide an environment where covert narcissistic tendencies flourish undetected. Recognizing these traits is essential for fostering healthy relationships and seeking appropriate help.

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Common Types of Covert Narcissism

Covert narcissism manifests in various ways, each with its own set of characteristics. Here are the most common types:

1. Victim Narcissism

Victim narcissists often portray themselves as perpetual victims. They use their perceived suffering to gain sympathy and attention from others. For example, they might exaggerate their hardships or blame others for their problems to avoid accountability. In Indian families, this could manifest as constantly emphasizing their sacrifices or hardships while subtly demanding recognition.

2. Passive-Aggressive Narcissism

Passive-aggressive narcissists express their frustrations indirectly. They may use sarcasm, silent treatment, or backhanded compliments to assert control. In workplaces or social settings, this behavior can create tension, as these individuals often avoid direct confrontation but manipulate situations to their advantage.

3. Insecure Narcissism

This type is marked by extreme sensitivity to criticism. Insecure narcissists often feel inadequate and are highly defensive. They may seek constant reassurance and admiration but struggle to handle even constructive feedback. Their insecurity can lead to withdrawal or a tendency to blame others.

4. Martyr Narcissism

Martyr narcissists go out of their way to help others but expect recognition and validation in return. When they don’t receive the expected acknowledgment, they may resort to guilt-tripping or passive-aggressive behavior. This is common in relationships where one partner constantly reminds the other of their sacrifices.

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5. Socially Withdrawn Narcissism

Socially withdrawn narcissists avoid interactions due to their fear of failure or rejection. They may appear shy or introverted but secretly harbor fantasies of success and admiration. This type is particularly challenging to identify as their behavior often mimics genuine introversion.

Steps to Manage Covert Narcissism

Addressing covert narcissism requires self-awareness, professional help, and a commitment to personal growth. Here are detailed steps to manage and treat this disorder:

1. Recognize the Problem

Acknowledging covert narcissistic tendencies is the first step. Reflect on behaviors such as manipulation, excessive self-criticism, or constant need for validation. Keeping a journal or discussing these tendencies with trusted friends can provide insights.

2. Seek Professional Help

Therapy is essential for understanding and managing covert narcissism. A licensed therapist can help explore underlying insecurities and provide coping mechanisms. In India, online therapy platforms like Rocket Health India make it convenient to access qualified professionals from the comfort of your home.

3. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and deep breathing, can help manage negative thoughts and emotions. Staying present allows individuals to control impulsive behaviors and reduce feelings of inadequacy.

4. Improve Communication Skills

Learning to communicate openly and honestly is vital. This involves expressing needs without manipulation, listening actively, and resolving conflicts constructively. Assertiveness training or workshops can help develop these skills.

5. Focus on Empathy

Empathy helps shift the focus from self-centered thoughts to understanding others’ perspectives. Engaging in acts of kindness, volunteering, or actively listening to loved ones can cultivate empathy and reduce narcissistic tendencies.

6. Set Realistic Goals

Covert narcissists often have unrealistic expectations of themselves and others (Brookes, 2015). Setting achievable goals and celebrating small successes can boost self-esteem and reduce feelings of inadequacy. For example, breaking down large tasks into smaller, manageable steps can make progress feel more attainable.

7. Build Healthy Relationships

Hence, fostering relationships based on mutual respect and understanding is crucial. Avoid codependent or toxic dynamics, and establish clear boundaries to ensure balanced interactions. Regularly check in with trusted friends or family members to maintain emotional balance.

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8. Educate Yourself

Learning about covert narcissism through books, articles, and workshops can increase self-awareness and provide valuable insights into managing the disorder. Rocket Health India’s resource hub offers culturally relevant materials tailored to Indian audiences.

Why Online Therapy Can Help

Online therapy offers a convenient and accessible way to address covert narcissism. It eliminates geographical barriers, making it easier for individuals in India to connect with licensed therapists. Sessions can be conducted in the privacy of your home, encouraging openness and honesty. Online therapy platforms also provide flexible scheduling, allowing individuals to fit sessions into their busy lives.

Rocket Health India specializes in providing mental health support tailored to the Indian context. With a team of experienced therapists and counselors, they understand the cultural nuances and challenges faced by individuals in India. Their affordable and confidential services ensure that everyone has access to quality mental health care. Whether it’s addressing covert narcissism or other mental health concerns, Rocket Health India is dedicated to helping individuals lead healthier and happier lives.

Conclusion

Covert narcissism is a subtle yet impactful disorder that affects both individuals and their relationships. By understanding its signs, types, and treatment options, you can take proactive steps toward healing and personal growth. Whether you suspect covert narcissism in yourself or someone else, addressing it early can lead to healthier, more fulfilling interactions.

Online therapy, particularly through platforms like Rocket Health India, provides an effective way to navigate this journey. Their culturally relevant and accessible services make mental health support available to everyone in India.

Take the first step toward a healthier you. Reach out to Rocket Health India today and start your journey to self-awareness and improvement.

Ready to take control of your mental well-being? Contact Rocket Health India today to book a confidential online therapy session. Start your journey to a better and more balanced life!

References

Brookes, J. (2015). The effect of overt and covert narcissism on self-esteem and self-efficacy beyond self-esteem. Personality and Individual Differences, 85, 172-175.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886915003384

Wink, P. (1991). Two faces of narcissism. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 61(4), 590–597.

http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.61.4.590.