How to Change an Anxious Attachment Style: Steps to Overcome Anxiety

The kinds of connections that people develop as a result of their early interactions with caregivers are referred to as attachment styles. Four types can generally be distinguished: avoidant-fearful, avoidant-dismissive, anxious, and secure. These styles have an impact on how people address emotional relationships in their daily lives.

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Relationships can be severely impacted by an anxious attachment style, which can lead to psychological distress and feelings of insecurity. In India, where emotional dependency is valued in traditional family norms, a lot of people show this attachment pattern. You may be experiencing anxious attachment if you are continuously worried about your relationships, look for approval, or have a fear of being abandoned.

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It is possible to overcome anxious attachment with the right approach and resources. This blog will help you recognize the warning signs of anxious attachment, provide helpful management strategies, and explain how online therapy in India can assist you in achieving emotional security. These suggestions will direct you toward more positive relationships, whether you're in a love partnership, close friendship, or familial bond.

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Understanding Anxious Attachment Style  

Anxious attachment style has its origins in early life events. It usually arises from caregivers who are inconsistent in attending to a child's emotional needs—at times being watchful, at other times negligent. The young ones feel fearful and insecure as a result of this uncertainty, questioning if their emotional needs will be consistently addressed.

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These children's anxious attachment style might influence how they interact with others as adults. Insecurity about their partner's affection and commitment is a common feeling among adults with an anxious attachment style. They may constantly seek comfort because they fear being rejected or abandoned. Individuals with this attachment style are more likely to be sensitive to rejection. Chango et al. (2011) found that people who were vulnerable due to sensitivity to rejection had a higher risk of developing depression . Another study showed that with an increase in anxiety due to anxious attachment style there is a decrease in self-esteem (Khoshkam et al., 2012). 

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Unhealthy patterns like emotional over-dependence, envy, and the need for continual affirmation can arise from this behaviour. Insecure attachment is seen to be a risk factor for internalisation issues including social isolation, anxiety, and depression, according to attachment theory (Brumariu & Kerns, 2010).

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Signs of Anxious Attachment  

Understanding the signs of anxious attachment can help you identify whether you or someone you know might be experiencing this attachment style. Some common signs include:

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1. Fear of Abandonment: Persistent concern, even in the absence of a genuine threat, that your spouse or other loved ones will leave you.

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2. Need for Continuous Reassurance: Asking questions like "Do you love me?" and "Are you still interested in me?" on a regular basis. 

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3. Over-Analyzing Communication: When there is a delay or change, you frequently assume the worst and read too much into your partner's words, messages, or tone of voice.

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4. Clinging Behaviour: Relying too much on your partner and expecting them to be there for you at all times or to be involved in all facets of your life.

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5. Emotional Instability: Having intense emotional highs and lows, particularly in response to even little behavioural changes from your partner.

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Being protective of your partner's time and attention or feeling threatened by anyone who engages with them.

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The first step in addressing the anxious attachment style is identifying these signs. Even though it might be difficult to manage, you can build healthier connections if you have the necessary support, patience, and understanding.

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Steps to Overcome Anxious Attachment  

1. Acknowledge and Understand Your Feelings  

To overcome anxious attachment, you must first learn to recognize your emotions. Think back on your feelings, especially your worries of being rejected or abandoned. You can see patterns in your behaviour and how they are influenced by past relationships or experiences from your childhood. You may alter your triggers by becoming aware of them.

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2. Develop Self-Awareness and Self-Worth  

Anxious attachment types frequently base their sense of value on how other people see them. It's critical to begin enhancing confidence and appreciating your worth without waiting for approval from others. Setting objectives for yourself, engaging in constructive self-talk, and acknowledging and appreciating your minor victories are ways to do this. 

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3. Learn to Communicate Effectively  

In relationships, communication that is honest and open is crucial. When you're feeling uneasy or nervous, talk to your partner gently about it rather than reaching out for validation in a way that could alienate them. Say something like, "When I don't hear from you, I get insecure." Could we discuss how to communicate with each other without becoming too demanding?" Your partner will be able to understand your requirements without feeling compelled to do so.

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4. Practice Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation  

Anxious attachment frequently results in emotional instability, when even the smallest behavioural shift from your partner might set off a severe episode of anxiety. You can maintain emotional stability and emotional control by engaging in mindfulness exercises like breathing techniques and meditation. Research shows that mindfulness is both directly and indirectly associated with lower levels of anxiety and depression (Parmentier et al., 2019). 

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5. Set Healthy Boundaries  

In partnerships, boundaries are essential. They let you honour your partner's personal space while safeguarding your mental health. Recognize that spending time apart from you is normal for your partner and does not imply that they are leaving you. It can help build secure attachment. A study has shown that people with a secure style of attachment report feeling more satisfied in their relationships (Sharma & Kaushik, 2024).

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6. Seek Professional Help through Online Therapy  

In India, where mental health concerns are sometimes stigmatised, online therapy provides an approachable and successful means of addressing anxious attachment. It has never been simpler to receive therapy from the comforts of your home thanks to the growth of platforms like Rocket Health India. You can uncover negative patterns, heal from childhood trauma, and create more positive attachment types with the assistance of therapists.

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How Online Therapy in India Can Help Overcome Anxious Attachment  

For those who struggle with anxious attachment, especially in India where mental health therapy might be difficult to obtain in rural regions, online therapy offers a flexible and handy choice. It is simpler to get treatment without the social stigma associated with in-person therapy when you use online therapy, which enables you to communicate with a certified therapist via video and audio calls.

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Benefits of online therapy include:

- Convenience: Therapy sessions are accessible from any location, be it a secluded village or a bustling metropolis like Mumbai.

- Anonymity: Online counselling provides privacy, which is crucial in a society where talking about mental health issues might be stigmatised.

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- Tailored Support: You can change your anxious attachment style with the help of experts in attachment issues that Rocket Health India can put you in touch with. The therapists at Rocket Health employ research-proven methods including mindfulness and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), which are especially beneficial for resolving anxious attachment.  

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By working with an experienced therapist, you can understand the root causes of your attachment style, build emotional resilience, and transform your relationships for the better.

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Why Rocket Health India Can Help You Overcome Anxious Attachment  

A reliable resource for high-quality, individually personalised online therapy services is Rocket Health India. They can provide you with the assistance and direction required to form secure attachments and achieve emotional stability since they are supervised by professional therapists trained in dealing with attachment styles. 

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- Skilled Therapists: The therapists at Rocket Health India have experience in addressing relationship problems, anxiety disorders, and attachment disorders.

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- Culturally Relevant Support: In India, cultural dynamics are distinct and might lead to nervous attachment. Therapists are aware of these dynamics, including societal pressures and familial expectations.

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- Flexible and Affordable: The platform is available to everyone, regardless of geography or financial situation, thanks to its discreet services, flexible scheduling possibilities, and reasonable price.

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Making Rocket Health India your first choice for therapy might help you get over your anxiety attachment and become emotionally free.

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Conclusion  

Although anxious attachment can be quite overwhelming, it is possible to change this attachment style with the correct techniques and assistance. You can build stronger, more stable relationships by identifying the warning signs, engaging in self-awareness exercises, and obtaining expert assistance through online therapy.

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Those looking to overcome their anxious attachment style have an accessible, economical, and culturally sensitive option in the shape of online therapy platforms such as Rocket Health India. The path to stable attachment might be reached through increasing emotional independence, establishing boundaries, or strengthening communication.

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References

Brumariu, L. E., & Kerns, K. A. (2010). Parent–child attachment and internalizing symptoms in childhood and adolescence: A review of empirical findings and future directions. Development and Psychopathology, 22(1), 177–203. https://doi.org/10.1017/s0954579409990344 

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Chango, J. M., McElhaney, K. B., Allen, J. P., Schad, M. M., & Marston, E. (2011). Relational stressors and depressive symptoms in late adolescence: rejection sensitivity as a vulnerability. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 40(3), 369–379. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10802-011-9570-y 

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Khoshkam, S., Bahrami, F., Ahmadi, S. A., Fatehizade, M., & Etemadi, O. (2012). Attachment style and rejection sensitivity: The Mediating effect of Self-Esteem and Worry among Iranian college students. Europe’s Journal of Psychology, 8(3), 363–374. https://doi.org/10.5964/ejop.v8i3.463 

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Parmentier, F. B. R., García-Toro, M., García-Campayo, J., Yañez, A. M., Andrés, P., & Gili, M. (2019). Mindfulness and symptoms of depression and anxiety in the general population: the mediating roles of worry, rumination, reappraisal and suppression. Frontiers in Psychology, 10. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.00506 

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Sharma, M. & Kaushik, P. (2024). The Relationship between Attachment Styles and Relationship Satisfaction among Young Adults. International Journal of Indian Psychology, 12(2), 2336-2358. DIP:18.01.202.20241202, DOI:10.25215/1202.202