From Heartache To Healing : Tips To Get Over Someone

Breaking up with someone is never simple, and it may be more difficult if there is still love present. You lose connection when you end a relationship, particularly one that was so significant and integral to your daily existence. And to lose purpose is to lose a piece of who you are. Thus, everything that pertains to you, including your identity, relationships, and sense of meaning and purpose, is closely interconnected. 

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Despite the fact that experiencing heartbreak could seem hopeless, the good news is that it won't endure forever and won't prevent you from falling in love again. The Journal of Positive Psychology research indicates that it takes 11 weeks following the end of a relationship for one to start feeling better. However, a different study discovered that it takes more than 18 months for a marriage to end.

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Tips to Get Over Someone

Here are 14 expert insights to get you through this emotional journey:

1. Give Yourself Time to Grieve: Express your emotions and give yourself the opportunity to go through the normal mourning process. To feel depressed, enraged, or let down is acceptable. Attempting to push them away or stifling that wave of emotion, let yourself to fully experience it. Consider listening to what those emotions are trying to tell you about the events of the breakup, about you, and about your ex-partner. Seek professional help if you think your emotions could get the better of you; not having to do it alone can shorten the time it takes to heal after a breakup.

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‍2. Cut Off Contact: Try to avoid or minimise communication with the individual you're attempting to move on from. This includes staying away from potential encounter locations, unfollowing them on social media, and not reaching out to them. After a breakup, you truly experience emotions of withdrawal since your partner's feel-good hormones are suddenly gone. It goes without saying that if you work or attend class with another individual, this may be challenging. You shouldn't actively seek out the person you want to move on from, but you also shouldn't make an effort to avoid them either.

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3. Put Yourself First: Make the most of this opportunity to concentrate on your own well-being and progress. Invest on pursuits that bring you joy, which might involve hobbies, physical activity, and quality time with loved ones. It's fair for you to pamper yourself with a little indulgence since you're going through a difficult moment and it will make you feel better. When people are not feeling well, they usually have a craving for comfort food. According to research, mindful diversions are generally safe as long as you're not going overboard or putting your health last.

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4. Set Boundaries: To secure your emotional well-being, set up distinct boundaries. Steer clear of circumstances or conversations that could bring up unpleasant memories or unresolved emotions. It's normal to ponder your relationship, seek out about your ex's well-being, and even picture a scenario in which everything turns out perfectly. It's also common to find yourself looking through their previous texts, watching their Snapchat, or checking their Instagram. You can find some serenity, though, if you establish limits on how you "check in" on your ex.

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5. Challenge Negative Thoughts: Family therapists say that often after break-up there are negative thoughts and feelings that linger in our minds -"I'm a failure, I'm unlovable, or I wasted my time in this relationship.”. Use cognitive-behavioural strategies to refute negative ideas and sentiments around the split. Change them out for more optimistic and grounded viewpoints. It can be quite unsettling to make an attempt to rediscover oneself, or create a new daily routine. CBT helps you move through the fear and grief of the lost relationship by helping you create healthy thoughts, use helpful coping skills, and take action based on values.

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6. Practice Mindfulness: To remain centred and in the present, try mindfulness or meditation techniques. This has the potential to lessen worry and nostalgic thinking. Although it might not seem like something you would want to do, sitting consciously through strong emotions is an essential part of the healing process. Relationships are not always meant to last a lifetime. Nonetheless, we may all develop personally and learn from each interaction. The future is also brimming with intriguing new opportunities.

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7. Set Objectives: To help you keep focused on the future, set both short- and long-term objectives for yourself. Setting objectives can help you feel purposeful and directed, whether you're learning a new skill or pursuing a new professional opportunity. 

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8. Rebound Relationship Avoidance: Give yourself some space to heal before entering a new partnership. While rebound relationships could provide a short-term diversion, they might ultimately impede the process of healing.

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9. Express Yourself Creatively: Use artistic mediums like writing, painting, or music to release your pent-up feelings. Using your artistic expression to process difficult emotions can be beneficial.

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10. Practice Self-Compassion: During this difficult period, treat yourself with kindness and compassion. You should show yourself the same compassion and consideration as you would support someone in need.

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11. Remain Patient: It takes time to heal, so be kind with yourself. Don't put yourself under pressure to "get over" the individual right away. Let your body recover itself at its own speed.

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12. Concentrate on the Takeaways: Consider the takeaways from the relationship and breakup. Make use of these realisations to develop into a smarter, stronger person. Although there were positive aspects of your relationship, you don't want to dwell just on them. Make a list of every negative element about your ex-partner or relationship, such as arguments inside the partnership, and review it frequently to help you find the middle ground.

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13. Imagine Your Future: Try to picture a day when the person you're attempting to move on from won't be around. Imagine that you are content, joyful, and surrounded by love and good energy. Make use of this vision as inspiration to keep going.

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14. Seek Support: Never be afraid to ask for help from friends, family, or a therapist. You can process your emotions and obtain fresh perspectives by talking about your feelings.

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Keep in mind that each person's path to recovery is distinct, so you need to figure out what works best for you. Treat yourself with kindness and have faith that you will heal yourself and experience happiness once more with a lot of effort and patience. We must always keep in mind that we only move on when we are prepared to let go.

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Are you ready to heal and move forward after a breakup? Reach out to Rocket Health for personalized support and guidance on your journey to emotional well-being.

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References

Beckmeyer, J. J., & Jamison, T. B. (2019, November 12). Is Breaking Up Hard to Do? Exploring Emerging Adults’ Perceived Abilities to End Romantic Relationships. Family Relations, 69(5), 1028–1040. https://doi.org/10.1111/fare.12404

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Desk, T. L. (2024, February 1). THIS science-backed method can help you get over a break-up. The Times of India. https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/love-sex/sciencebacked-methods-to-get-over-a-breakup/articleshow/107316606.cms

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Kansky, J., & Allen, J. P. (2017, June 29). Making Sense and Moving On. Emerging Adulthood, 6(3), 172–190. https://doi.org/10.1177/2167696817711766

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W. (n.d.). How to heal after a breakup. IamExpat. https://www.iamexpat.nl/lifestyle/lifestyle-news/how-heal-after-breakup