Many people view marriage as a lovely union that is full of love, dedication, and common goals. Nevertheless, couples' expectations of each other can occasionally be exceeded by reality. The disconnect between what people expect from marriage and what they actually experience can cause emotions of disappointment and discontent, especially in India, where cultural norms and societal pressures can have a significant impact on marital dynamics.

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This blog will examine the prevalent marriage-related assumptions in India and compare them to the realities that many couples encounter. We will discuss different coping mechanisms and therapy choices for disillusioned couples, emphasizing the value of honest discussion and expert assistance. Couples can now get the help they need to overcome these obstacles and create deeper relationships thanks to the growth of online treatment platforms like Rocket Health.

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Understanding Marriage Expectations vs Reality

People frequently bring expectations into marriage that have been influenced by their personal experiences, family beliefs, and culture. Ideas regarding romance, communication, shared responsibility, and emotional support are a few examples of these expectations. Many people believe that marriage will bring them a strong emotional bond, support, and a partnership that is based on understanding.

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But occasionally, the reality of marriage can be very different. Couples may experience conflicting personal ambitions, financial strains, and various degrees of dedication to domestic duties. Frustration, miscommunications, and a feeling of loneliness might result from these difficulties. Couples must acknowledge these differences and create coping mechanisms to handle the emotional consequences that can occur when expectations are not fulfilled.

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Common Challenges in Indian Marriages

1. Cultural Expectations: In many Indian families, traditional roles often dictate the responsibilities of spouses. Women may be expected to manage household duties and caregiving, while men might be seen as the primary breadwinners. In addition to the household chores and the upbringing of children, women continue to provide care that directly impacts men’s well-being, according to some studies (Thobejane & Khoza, 2014). So, if a woman chooses to focus on her career, it can cause conflicts in the marriage if her partner has traditional beliefs.
    
2. Communication Issues: Misunderstandings and resentment can result from inadequate communication. Many couples find it difficult to communicate their wants and emotions, which causes their bond to break down. Studies suggest that communication patterns in romantic relationships can significantly impact factors like forgiveness, intimacy, and relationship satisfaction (Yoo et al., 2013). 
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3. Financial Stress: Economic pressures can take a toll on marriages. Couples may face stress from job loss, high living costs, or financial mismanagement, leading to conflicts. Also, the growing financial independence of women and the challenges of big-city life have influenced marriage trends in Asia. This includes pressure to stay in unhappy marriages to maintain social and financial stability (Jones, 2017). 
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4. Infidelity and Trust Issues: The foundation of any relationship is trust. A marriage can be destroyed by infidelity, which results in insecurity and emotional suffering. Even in the absence of infidelity, spouses may experience distrust or jealousy. Researchers have found that anxious individuals tend to experience higher levels of jealousy, which is further linked to partner abuse (Rodriguez et al., 2015). 
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5. Family Interference: In Indian marriages, due to the concept of arranged marriages, extended families often play a significant role in the couple's lives. Family interference can lead to conflicts over decision-making and autonomy. Women's autonomy in decision-making is often limited in Indian marriages, with important decisions being made by the extended family rather than the couple. This is particularly true in North India, where extended family systems are more prevalent.   
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   However, there is some evidence that women in South India may have greater autonomy and decision-making power within the household compared to their counterparts in North India (Niraula & Morgan, 1996). Hence, if a couple belonging to different regions decide to get married, family involvement from both sides could lead to misunderstanding and conflicts due to differing views.  
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6. Parenting Disagreements: Couples frequently disagree on how to raise their children, which can cause conflict and strain. 
    
7. Loss of Intimacy: Physical and emotional intimacy between partners may deteriorate with time. Stress, unresolved problems, and hectic schedules can all contribute to this alienation. 
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8. Different Love Languages: Research has found that understanding a partner's love language significantly impacts marital satisfaction. Couples who learned to meet each other's love languages experienced fewer conflicts and greater relationship fulfillment (Bland & McQueen, 2018). For example, a partner who values quality time may feel deeply connected when their spouse sets aside time for them, while another who values acts of service might feel loved when their partner helps with household chores.

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Steps to Cope with Disillusionment

Coping with the reality of marriage versus expectations requires effort and commitment from both partners. Here are some steps that can help:

1. Open Communication: It's critical to create a secure environment for an honest discussion. Couples should be free to talk about their expectations, feelings, and any complaints without worrying about being judged. Frequent check-ins can promote understanding and assist in resolving problems before they become more serious. 
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2. Establish Reasonable Expectations: Couples must acknowledge that no relationship is flawless. Increased marital satisfaction can result from talking about reasonable goals and being prepared to modify expectations. 
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3. Seek Couples Therapy: Couples can resolve their problems in a neutral setting with therapy. A therapist can provide couples with tools to strengthen their relationship by assisting them in seeing patterns in their behavior and communication (Khatibi et al., 2020).
    
4. Develop Empathy: Establishing a connection and trust requires that both parties understand one another's viewpoints. Partners that are empathetic can support one another's emotions and strive toward satisfaction.
    
5. Establish Shared goals: Establishing goals together, whether they be financial, parental, or personal development-related, can improve the relationship between partners. This common goal might encourage cooperation and teamwork inside the marriage.
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6. Make Quality Time a Priority: It's critical to make time for your partner apart from everyday obligations. Making time for one another a priority can improve intimacy, whether it be through date nights, common interests, or just spending time together. 
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7. Deal with outside stressors: A marriage may be impacted by familial dynamics or financial strains. Working as a team to address these outside pressures can help lower anxiety and improve the relationship.

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Why Online Therapy Can Help

Couples can get support in a convenient and easily accessible method with online therapy. Online resources offer a quiet and cozy setting for couples to discuss their difficulties, where the stigma associated with mental health issues might discourage people from getting treatment.

1. Convenience: Couples can integrate therapy into their hectic schedules without experiencing additional stress because they can arrange sessions whenever it is most convenient for them.
    
2. Confidentiality: Couples may feel more comfortable talking about sensitive topics since online therapy offers a certain amount of confidentiality. 
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3. Diverse Therapists: Couples can choose the best therapist for their requirements by using platforms such as Rocket Health, which pair them with licensed professionals skilled in relationship dynamics. 
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4. Resource Access: Couples undergoing online therapy frequently have access to a range of tools, including workbooks, articles, and guided exercises, which they can utilize in between sessions.

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Why Rocket Health India Can Help

One of India's top online mental health resources, Rocket Health is committed to offering couples and individuals dealing with a range of difficulties all-encompassing support.

1. Professional Therapists: Rocket Health matches customers with seasoned relationship counselors. These experts can guide couples through the challenges of balancing expectations and realities in a marriage. 
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2. Tailored Approach: Rocket Health's therapists use a variety of therapy approaches to make sure every couple gets care that is specifically catered to their requirements. 
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3. Supportive Environment: The platform encourages couples to discuss their problems honestly and openly by creating a nonjudgmental and friendly environment. 
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4. Affordability: By providing competitive pricing, Rocket Health seeks to make mental health care affordable so that couples can put their health first without worrying about money.

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Conclusion

Expectations and reality exist in marriage, which can occasionally result in disappointment. Partners can create better, more wholesome relationships by being aware of the typical problems couples encounter and taking proactive steps to resolve them. Navigating the challenges of marriage requires open communication, expert assistance, and a dedication to personal development.

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Consider getting professional assistance if you or your spouse are having trouble reconciling expectations and realities in your marriage. You can get the help you need to create a satisfying relationship with online therapy via sites like Rocket Health.

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Don't allow your relationship to suffer because of dissatisfaction. Reach out to Rocket Health today to connect with a therapist who can help you and your partner navigate the challenges of marriage. Take the first step towards a healthier, more fulfilling relationship!

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References

Asociación de Análisis del Comportamiento. (2022). Communication, forgiveness and morbidity in young adults involved in a romantic relationship. https://hdl.handle.net/1822/86242

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Bland, A. M., & McQueen, K. S. (2018). The distribution of Chapman’s love languages in couples: An exploratory cluster analysis. Couple and Family Psychology Research and Practice, 7(2), 103–126. https://doi.org/10.1037/cfp0000102

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Jones, G. W. (2017). Changing marriage patterns in Asia. In Routledge eBooks (pp. 351–369). https://doi.org/10.4324/9781315148458-19

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Khatibi, S., Gudarzi, M., & Yarahmadi, Y. (2020). Effectiveness of satisfactory marriage training intervention in marital conflicts and marital disillusionment. Avicenna Jounal of Neuro Psycho Physiology, 13–18. https://doi.org/10.32592/ajnpp.2021.8.1.102

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The Adaptive Extended Family in India today on JSTOR. (n.d.). www.jstor.org. https://www.jstor.org/stable/350528

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Thobejane, T. D., & Khoza, J. (2014). Gender Role Expectations within the Institution of Marriage. Journal of Social Sciences, 41(3), 455–459. https://doi.org/10.1080/09718923.2014.11893380

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Yoo, H., Bartle-Haring, S., Day, R. D., & Gangamma, R. (2013). Couple communication, emotional and sexual intimacy, and relationship satisfaction. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 40(4), 275–293. https://doi.org/10.1080/0092623x.2012.751072

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